Darla Stories

So remember last week and the story about the Big Gulp my mom “accidentally” drank even though it wasn’t hers?

Well, let’s just say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Because the other day I had to go to the post office. My Suburban was in the shop getting its oil changed and I was driving Bill’s car.

I walked out of the post office and got in a car. I was on my cell phone talking to Bill at the time and began trying to start the car.

I kept trying to shove the key into the ignition even though I could hear both Bill and my dad in my head saying “Don’t force it.”

Didn’t matter….I had places to go.

So I kept forcing the key in the ignition and finally said…“Bill, the key doesn’t work.” And then I said ….“it’s like it’s not even made for this car.”

Because you see, it wasn’t.

I was in someone else’s car. Someone else who apparently doesn’t lock their doors either.

I figured it out when I decided I needed more room to work on the ignition and reached over to put my purse in the passenger seat. And I saw a really nice gear shift. It had shiny wood around it and was MUCH nicer than mine. Much, much nicer.

And I got out of that car faster than a postal employee can blink (seriously…the ones at my post office are s-l-o-w. I’ve been thinking I should offer them a multi-vitamin or at least a Route 44 Diet Coke…they need something to get ’em going).

I was laughing hysterically (and I was alone, except for Bill who was still on the phone with me) and literally running in circles in the parking lot. I don’t know if it was because I wasn’t sure at this point where my own car was or if I was worried someone might think I was trying to car jack their car and I needed to dodge bullets. I do live in the 4th largest city in America you know.

Either way, I looked like a loon. A serious loon.

And when I looked back at the car I had jumped out of - which was pretty much the same color and car style, I realized I was in someones INFINITI.

Now people, Bill’s car is a 2001 Camry.

Those two should not be confused.

And yes, before you email me, I will start locking my doors now.

I mean seriously..there are crazy people at the post office.