Cue the Hillbilly Music

I hate going to the dentist.

Always have … probably always will.

But twice a year I do the “good mom” thing and take my kids for their check ups.
That is assuming I remember to schedule it … which is sometimes a problem.)

A week or two ago I took children #1,2 and 4 for their visit. Fared pretty well. Child #3 got a break as she was getting her braces off the next week and we decided to wait to clean her teeth all pearl-y white after the braces came off.

And can I just say … only taking one child to the dentist at a time is quite the treat. I didn’t have to enertain anyone, tell anyone to be quiet or to “quit” even once. And when they called Savannah back? Well, I opened up this weeks People magazine (which just so happens to be my single favorite thing to do when visiting the dentist office). It was so nice, so peaceful.

Until they called my name.

MRS. BAERG, the hygenist would like to see you.

Really?!? Me? Why?

And let me tell you why.

Because she wanted to shame me, that’s why.

She wanted to say, in the loudest voice possible…. “Mrs. Baerg … you really need to do a better job of supervising the brushing of her teeth.” And she went on….“the plaque build up is not good.”

I assumed she didn’t know we were just two weeks post-braces … and said … “well, she just got her braces off so I’m sure it will be easier to clean them now”. And she shot back with …. “this has nothing to do with her braces, this is just poor brushing habits.” And she went on to tell me that I should leave her brush and floss out as a reminder to brush. Seriously?!? I’ve spent years telling them to put it up and now you want me to leave it out?

The whole thing mortified me. It felt like there were 20 people in the examining area and they were all looking at me with that look. I went from doing the “good mom” thing to being the “loser mom” in a matter of about 15 seconds. And I desperately wanted out of there!!!

I refrained from saying what I wanted to say, which was … “Look Ms. Toothpaste Lover, I have four kids and they are lucky to have a toothbrush and toothpaste. I mean seriously, I’m doing the best I can. I try to supervise, I try to help….but there is just only so much time in a day and so many places one person can be.

I ducked my head and slunk out of the examining area and back to the waiting room only to find that People magazine no longer had the same appeal. Everyones teeth seemed to be so perfect, so white … so unlike she thought my childs looked.

As if it could go from bad to worse … the hygenist came out and smugly (in my opinion) said Savannah had two cavities. Okeedokie. Then the dentist came out and said … “just checked her films and she is cavity free!” After I told her what the hygenist said she retracted her statement and said she remembered now … it was two.

Then … as an add on … “please schedule your appointment for the morning as she was a little fidgety today.”

And I politely placed the People magazine back on the shelf and left.

I can buy one at Target when I’m there buying our 14 new tubes of toothpaste.

I may be from Arkansas but I really don’t like it when people make me feel like I’m a hillbilly. Just so you know.